Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
