Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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