Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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