she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
