I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
sex in a hospital.. check
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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