i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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