He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize