he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
