I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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