The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
