And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
