I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
