Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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