put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
