Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
