It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize