You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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