I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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