Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize