What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
