Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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