Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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