Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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