i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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