1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
