drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
