I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
