I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
