Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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