k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
