I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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