I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I puked a lego.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
