i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I pour the whiskey from now on
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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