The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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