HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
