Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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