I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
