WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
