Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
