Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
