Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
