I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
operation harelip BJ is a go
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am one with the molecules
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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