there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
