Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
