so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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