um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
