shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
