WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
