I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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