Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
