how can u be prego again
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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