it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
