is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
