Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize