My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
