I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
