Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
