Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize