dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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