epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
