oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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