so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
